Zen 10: Habits that Will Help You Achieve Peace of Mind in the Present


I run pretty high-stress most days. As hard as I try to relax, I am simply wired to plan ahead and work toward goals and deadlines I set for myself. If it makes any sense at all, taking time to plan for the future helps me maximize and enjoy the present.

However, there are times I start panicking when I think about the more distant, unplanned future— the one that's much bigger than my lunch plans for the rest of the week. I'm talking about post-grad career-type plans. Those are the ones that cause my heart to beat a little faster as uncertainty sets in.

Over the past month, I committed to live in the present and stop thinking about the distant future. This does not imply a kind of hedonistic carpe diem (speaking of which, RIP Robin Williams in The Dead Poet's Society), but rather a mindfulness and peace in which I remember that my only guarantee is the here and now.

I have been able to find peace of mind, working within my own Type A personality, by creating these 10 habits. Enjoy!

1. Move to iCal (or color-code your calendar)

"What?" you say.
I'm serious. Planning smart is part of living in the present. And man do I love to plan things in advance. Nothing makes me happier than a balanced iCal of work and play. But that's just it. iCal allows color-coding. And while I don't necessarily think life should be compartmentalized into colored squares of friends, sorority, extra curriculars, school, family, etc, there is something reassuring about a visual mix of colors on my iCal. It serves as a reminder that I'm dabbling in all the different things that are meaningful to me. There is something peaceful about that.

2. Face your fears and tackle challenges now

There is nothing more stressful and anxiety-inducing than procrastination. When I begin to feel overwhelmed by the future, I take control of it by taking on things I need to accomplish, rather than avoiding them. Procrastinating and avoidance are ways to waste time. And time is too valuable to spend waiting for something to pass. The same goes for fears. While I'm not proposing that I am going to get over my totally irrational fear of insects anytime soon, I definitely push myself in more productive ways such as participating in large lecture classes when I have an idea to contribute or attending an event without any of my close friends. Getting uncomfortable makes my present meaningful and my future less daunting.

3. Be thankful and recognize goodness

Every morning when I'm in the shower I go through a little ritual in my half-asleep haze. I think of a few things (at least 3) for which I am thankful. Going into the day with the mindset that having classes, meetings, social plans and other events is good prevents me from becoming overwhelmed by a long to do list. Recognizing a greater value to the little events that go into each day gives me purpose and peace.

4. Be honest, always

One of the first memories I have from right after joining my sorority is a sisterhood meeting we had with all of the members. A senior girl I looked up to encouraged everyone in our house to ask each other how our day was and reply honestly, meaning if you're having a bad or good day, share it. There is something liberating about opening up to a friend even for a few minutes. Acknowledging challenges and successes release them, and make it easier to maintain a sense of balance in the present as well as allowing a support system to form. I attribute so many of my current friendships to a moment of opening up— either on my part or someone else's— that resulted in a later text or email conversation, an eventual meal plan and soon after a friendship rooted in honesty. 

5. Put the phone down

I will be the first to admit that my phone is my security blanket. Every time I feel awkward or have nothing to do, I immediately type in my passcode and start scrolling through Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Bad move. I try to remind myself when I am walking or waiting in line or generally have down time, to just stop and look around so I can take notice of my surroundings and appreciate the present without the intrusion of information that is not essential to that specific moment. When I save the scrolling for later— say, for my random study breaks or right before bed— I feel more in tuned in and at peace.

6. Sleep deeply

For all I talk about sleep on this blog, you would think I get my 8-10 hours. Wrong. I recently purchased a FitBit (so excited for the Tory Burch band!) to track my sleep and steps (see next habit). Getting adequate sleep is beneficial for both mental and physical health. Sweet dreams!

7. Eat well, move often

A combination of an active lifestyle and nutritious food choices will fuel your body and mind to be efficient. When you treat your body well, you simply feel better. While I am not the picture of exercise or a perfect diet, I do walk a lot at school and notice an improvement in my mood when I spend time outdoors in the sunshine and fresh air as opposed to inside under fluorescent lights (hi, library).

8. Be irresponsible

Sometimes the best way to live in the present is to forget about time altogether. Abandon ship and skip something not-so-essential on your schedule, or carve out free time so that you can have unexpected fun. One of my favorite nights of the term was when I decided to go on an excursion to an ice cream shop a town over with a few girls from my sorority. It was a sweet last minute excursion that ended with meaningful conversation and bonding. 

9. Do something that makes you happy

There are so many things I need to, have to or should do. I need to change my bed sheets. I have to do my homework. I should go to the gym. However, there are a lot of things I want to do. As long as these endeavors aren't destructive, choose one thing— big or small— to do every day just because it makes you happy. For me, this varies. A few days per week, I give myself a mini facial. Other days, I go out to a restaurant for dinner with a friend or group. Some times, I read or journal for pleasure. No matter the endeavor, I do not place a value judgment (is it good/bad? productive/unproductive?) on the activity other than whether it increases my overall level of happiness or not. 

10. Connect with others

I always seem to get anxious about the future when I am alone. I get lost in the silence and my own thoughts, and end up furiously researching internships that I want to get a year from now. This is sometimes productive but mostly just a coping mechanism for trying to control an uncertain future. Connecting with friends and occasionally bonding over this uncertainty is a healthy way to embrace the now. I am pretty bad at the whole unscheduled/indefinite hang out thing, so I try to do connect by scheduling meals with friends (this combines my two great loves: food and people... ha). Making a conscious effort to invest in my friends and allow them to invest in me reminds me that I am in this with a support system and alongside other people.

xoxo 

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